I have never seen Star Wars


Don’t I suck and don’t I know it. Ok, the title is kind of a lie; I have seen scenes here and there, but never an entire Star Wars movie. I remember when I was 4 or 5, a friend of mines was watching one of the movies, I honestly don’t know which one (it might have been The Phantom Menace?). He turned it off when I arrived at his place, but I saw. I saw this horrifically annoying character with long, floppy ears. Yes, my first ever impression of this classic movie series is Jar Jar Binks. Maybe that’s one of the reasons I’ve never watched the movies; I was terrified. Years later, at another friend’s house, I saw scenes from a re-released version, you know, with the terrible CGI and all. Another bad start. Plus, my parents are Star Trek fans and I would watch reruns of the show with them when I was a kid, and I have to say, I quite enjoyed it. You know how there is (used to be?) this “war” between Harry Potter fans and Twilight fans? Where you can only love one or the other? Well from what I’ve heard, there is a similar “war” going on between Star Wars fans and Star Trek fans. So maybe I’ve never seen a Star Wars movie because I come from a Star Trek kind of family (like, I’m not the only person in my family who has never seen a Star Wars movie, neither my mum, nor my dad, nor my sister have).

But that doesn’t mean I know nothing about the series. Of course I know some things. The obvious things. The “Darth Vader is Luke’s father” kind of things. Backwards Yoda speaks, I know. And I know Leia is Luke’s sister, but I also know she kissed him once? Like a real kiss? My friend told me it was to make Harrison Ford jealous, but still. He’s her brother. Anyway. I also know there’s this guy with a red face, and I saw him on a t-shirt when I was 7 and I had a nightmare where he was chasing me. Then there’s Chewbacca who’s Harrison Ford’s best friend or something and he makes this noise guys at school kept imitating to interrupt teachers. And there’s this teddy bear colony at one point. And those two robots, R2-D2 and C-3PO, I don’t really know what they do, but they’re always together. Where do they come from? I know about “the Force”, but what is it? What does it do? I have no idea. I know Jabba the Hutt and Leia’s slave costume and Harrison Ford being trapped in a wall. What I don’t really know is what links all of these together. And I don’t know what goes in which movie. I also don’t know in what order I should watch them. Like, should I watch them in chronological order of the story or of the release date?


What I really wanted to say here is that ever since I saw the trailer for the last Star Wars movie, Star Wars: The Force Awakens, I thought it looked great. I did not go to see it in theatres, because I hadn’t seen any of the previous movies, but I think a Star Wars marathon is long overdue. Especially since I’m a cinema nerd since forever and I’m a cinema student and all… And even though my friends already spoiled the movie for me because they said I did not care anyway.


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